Today the world celebrates Bisexuality Day! In the spirit of celebrating the bisexual community and bi visibility, this post is dedicated to bi dating for women.
When you first discover you are bi, there can be a flurry of emotions and thoughts around that. Some can be confusing, others bring clarity.
In any event, if you know you are bi (or bi-curious) and you know you are ready to go on a first date with a girl, this article presents our top 3 tips to having a successful first date.
- Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there
In order to have your first date, you first need to find one. Our app, Zin, can help you find a lesbian woman in your area and provides safety features in messaging so you don’t have to worry about biphobia. You can search posts and see if there are matches close by.
As intimidating as dating can be, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and ask a woman out on a date. And, once you are on the date, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and open up to your date about who you are and what you are looking for.
Be prepared for questions about your experience with men and women. But don’t feel like you have to justify yourself. It is perfectly ok to be exploring and not know exactly what you want or have a need to put a label on it.
A great place to date women is in Los Angeles, where there is a large bi-sexual community. If you are in LA and looking for bisexual companionship, you have a good chance of meeting lots of like-minded women.
- Manage expectations
Dating is dating, regardless of the gender or sexual identity of the participants. It is good to get excited – that first flush of greeting, that sweet anticipation, the butterflies in the stomach – those are things that make dating fun and thrilling.
Make sure that you manage your expectations and know what your limits and desires are prior to going on the date. For example, if this is your first bi-sexual experience, you are going to want to discuss this with your date. It can help calm your nerves.
I remember my first date with a girl. I was so nervous. But once we started really talking and connecting, those nerves lightened their grip on me and I relaxed into just getting to know her and enjoying her company, without expectations.
Remember that a first date is a chance to “try each other on” and see if there is a fit. And, it is just fun to get to know someone knew.
- Take it slow
Dating takes time. If you are new to this game, you really need to not rush things. This ties in with tip 1 and managing expectations. Don’t expect your date to want to jump into bed right away. On the flip side, don’t allow your date to overstep your boundaries and set a pace that is too fast for you. You want to take your time and feel out how this is feeling for you. Sometimes dating a girl means remembering that neither one of you wants to make the first move. In that case, someone has to. If that someone is you, make sure that you have consent and communicate and listen to your date and pick up on her cues. If she puts her hand on your leg or shoulder during the date, is flirty and touchy, then you might be getting the signal that she is interested in some physical touch. However, that does not always translate to sex. You may be in the girl crush stage, where there is a lot of flirting but one or both of you are not yet ready to go “all the way.” And that is ok. Feel it out and communicate.
When you are ready, take the plunge and have a great first date!