When the relationships are over, and two people make the decision to break up, there are two possible scenarios: the “happy end” and the revenge. If you think that the “happy end” after breaking up is something from the parallel universe, you are wrong.
Frederic Beigbeder said, that love only lives three years. When two mature people understand that there is no more spark of passion between them, they really may say calmly that they are done.
Another plot develops when the affair has taken place, for example. In this case, breaking up is not the joint decision, and one person in the couple feels insulted and betrayed. As we all know, after the first stage of denial, comes the second one – the anger.
What Is Revenge Porn?
The sharing of digital private content (photos or videos) of a sexual nature without (or even against) permission of the person depicted is usually understood under the term of “revenge porn”.
Nowadays, people don’t need a lot of bravery to go out and take some kind of risky actions, when they desire a payback. Each of us has at least two accounts in different social networks, and our reputation these days is fully built on the likes and feedbacks of our followers.
And even those rioters who deny social platforms may not be utterly safe. Until they use any kind of digital devices (because it may be hacked) or have sexual life (videos and images are often taken secretly) no man in the world can breathe a sigh of relief. Each of us is literally the potential victim of revenge porn situation.
Actually, the word “revenge” is not absolutely accurate here. Not all the perpetrators commit this because of being hurt and while fulfilling their wish of revenge. Some have no feelings for the victim at all, their motivation is self-esteem. That’s why there is another term used mostly in the law sphere – nonconsensual pornography (NCP).
Why Do People Do This?
There is no person in the world who can feel 100% protected when it comes to revenge porn. Some weeks ago there was a great scandal in South Korea with a big number of famous names involved. The issue was about sharing sexual videos in private chats. Although these chats were closed, all the videos published there were taken without victims’ permissions. A while back Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, and Mischa Barton also went through the nightmare of being a victim of this kind of cybercrime.
There is a list of reasons, why people share non-self intimate content:
- Humiliate the victim;
If we are talking about posting any private pictures after breaking up, the most common reason is to humiliate another person and destroy their reputation. From soap dramas and teenage comedies, we know the scenario of such revenge. However, after the beginning of the #metoo movement, this kind of revenge works opposite and spoils the reputation of the perpetrator.
When the perpetrator wants to be compensated for their pain or being humiliated after breaking up, they may blackmail the victim. In this case, they may not even have any sexual content and just bluff. However, this doesn’t make them better or their actions less criminal.
In the case of celebrities, the situation is a bit more complicated, because their private content may be shared not only by their exes but also by cyber-stalkers. So they have to protect themselves from literally everyone!
Sharing sexual photos and videos (without permission of all the depicted people) in private messages is also a punishable offence. In most countries of the world perpetrators get real sentences for cyber-crimes, and sharing pornography is one of the most serious ones.
Steps to Prevent Revenge Porn
Implicitly trusting your partner while you are happy in the relationship may play a low-down trick with you a bit later. In our age of digital gadgets, caution is the parent of safety. We prepared several useful tips that should help you make yourself safe.
Think Before You Post
This rule actually works for any kind of content that you share on the Internet. Everytime before pressing the “Post” button, you’d better think about people who will see your photo or read your text.
Nowadays there are several options on Instagram and Facebook that allow you to share content only with an approved list of your followers or to make it hidden so that the person can decide whether they want to see it or not.
Many of us also use messengers where it is possible to protect some chats making them closed. It’s impossible to make screenshots of such conversations, and sometimes there also may be an auto-deleting function available.
Nothing lasts forever, so it’s always better to be prepared for the worse. Discuss with your partner what kind of your common content you regard as appropriate. Respect not only your own privacy but also your partner’s.
Use the Search
It’s a good habit to search your name on Google from time to time. Because some kind of insulting content may already be there, and you will be the last to know. Also, don’t forget about the “Images” page.
In case you have found anything that you consider to be offensive, you are strongly recommended to take a screenshot. This includes private messages (possibly, that was blackmailing), posts on private pages as well as Google search results. These may be used as proves while legal argument.
Improve Your Knowledge of Laws
Don’t hesitate to appeal to organizations that work with revenge porn cases. Volunteers will help you with advice about what to do next, share contacts of sexual privacy-protecting law agencies. You may also support such organizations with donations or while sharing information about them in social networks.
You may be surprised but there is a very little percentage of people who do know how to protect themselves from revenge porn. The culture of victim-blaming is still strong, even despite all the movements against harassment. Sharing important information nowadays may save, protect and support those in need.