Revenge Porn: How to Protect Yourself?

When the relationships are over, and two people make the decision to break up, there are two possible scenarios: the “happy end” and the revenge. If you think that the “happy end” after breaking up is something from the parallel universe, you are wrong.

Frederic Beigbeder said, that love only lives three years. When two mature people understand that there is no more spark of passion between them, they really may say calmly that they are done.

Another plot develops when the affair has taken place, for example. In this case, breaking up is not the joint decision, and one person in the couple feels insulted and betrayed. As we all know, after the first stage of denial, comes the second one – the anger.

What Is Revenge Porn?

The sharing of digital private content (photos or videos) of a sexual nature without (or even against) permission of the person depicted is usually understood under the term of “revenge porn”.

Nowadays, people don’t need a lot of bravery to go out and take some kind of risky actions, when they desire a payback. Each of us has at least two accounts in different social networks, and our reputation these days is fully built on the likes and feedbacks of our followers.

And even those rioters who deny social platforms may not be utterly safe. Until they use any kind of digital devices (because it may be hacked) or have sexual life (videos and images are often taken secretly) no man in the world can breathe a sigh of relief. Each of us is literally the potential victim of revenge porn situation.

Actually, the word “revenge” is not absolutely accurate here. Not all the perpetrators commit this because of being hurt and while fulfilling their wish of revenge. Some have no feelings for the victim at all, their motivation is self-esteem. That’s why there is another term used mostly in the law sphere – nonconsensual pornography (NCP).

Why Do People Do This?

There is no person in the world who can feel 100% protected when it comes to revenge porn. Some weeks ago there was a great scandal in South Korea with a big number of famous names involved. The issue was about sharing sexual videos in private chats. Although these chats were closed, all the videos published there were taken without victims’ permissions. A while back Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, and Mischa Barton also went through the nightmare of being a victim of this kind of cybercrime.

There is a list of reasons, why people share non-self intimate content:

  • Humiliate the victim;
  • Blackmailing;
  • Cyber-stalking;
  • Self-esteem.

If we are talking about posting any private pictures after breaking up, the most common reason is to humiliate another person and destroy their reputation. From soap dramas and teenage comedies, we know the scenario of such revenge. However, after the beginning of the #metoo movement, this kind of revenge works opposite and spoils the reputation of the perpetrator.

When the perpetrator wants to be compensated for their pain or being humiliated after breaking up, they may blackmail the victim. In this case, they may not even have any sexual content and just bluff. However, this doesn’t make them better or their actions less criminal.

In the case of celebrities, the situation is a bit more complicated, because their private content may be shared not only by their exes but also by cyber-stalkers. So they have to protect themselves from literally everyone!

Sharing sexual photos and videos (without permission of all the depicted people) in private messages is also a punishable offence. In most countries of the world perpetrators get real sentences for cyber-crimes, and sharing pornography is one of the most serious ones.

Steps to Prevent Revenge Porn

Implicitly trusting your partner while you are happy in the relationship may play a low-down trick with you a bit later. In our age of digital gadgets, caution is the parent of safety. We prepared several useful tips that should help you make yourself safe.

Think Before You Post

This rule actually works for any kind of content that you share on the Internet. Everytime before pressing the “Post” button, you’d better think about people who will see your photo or read your text.

Nowadays there are several options on Instagram and Facebook that allow you to share content only with an approved list of your followers or to make it hidden so that the person can decide whether they want to see it or not.

Many of us also use messengers where it is possible to protect some chats making them closed. It’s impossible to make screenshots of such conversations, and sometimes there also may be an auto-deleting function available.

Honest Communication

Nothing lasts forever, so it’s always better to be prepared for the worse. Discuss with your partner what kind of your common content you regard as appropriate. Respect not only your own privacy but also your partner’s.

Use the Search

It’s a good habit to search your name on Google from time to time. Because some kind of insulting content may already be there, and you will be the last to know. Also, don’t forget about the “Images” page.

Take Screenshots

In case you have found anything that you consider to be offensive, you are strongly recommended to take a screenshot. This includes private messages (possibly, that was blackmailing), posts on private pages as well as Google search results. These may be used as proves while legal argument.

Improve Your Knowledge of Laws

Don’t hesitate to appeal to organizations that work with revenge porn cases. Volunteers will help you with advice about what to do next, share contacts of sexual privacy-protecting law agencies. You may also support such organizations with donations or while sharing information about them in social networks.

You may be surprised but there is a very little percentage of people who do know how to protect themselves from revenge porn. The culture of victim-blaming is still strong, even despite all the movements against harassment. Sharing important information nowadays may save, protect and support those in need.

Best Kinky Sex Ideas to Try with Your Partner Right Now

Sex is wonderful. But sometimes a feeling of certain dissatisfaction comes, and the desire disappears because of the monotony in bed. Routine happens in any relations and aspects of our life, and even more so in its sexual sphere. But we all want our sex life to be vibrant and eventful as in the Sex and the City series.

We are all looking for new recipes for improving our intimate life.

So, let’s look at the best ideas that you should try with your partner today.

Best Kinky Sex Ideas to Try Today

Be Unpredictable – Tie a Partner

Tie your partner and make them feel well, as they love. Use your imagination, it’s not necessary to run into the first sex shop you get behind to buy handcuffs. You can tie your partner with their sweater or women’s stockings, the process is here the main thing. There are many options for petting: kiss wherever it’s possible, gently or not, bite. If your partner normally tolerates tickling, stock up with a feather stick in a sex shop and pet them as gently as possible.

And the most interesting thing, the icing on the cake will be anus petting. We all know that the topic of anal petting is very hot, sexy and exciting. But not for all this type of caresses is acceptable. If you still turn thumbs up on such things then practice rimming. If you don’t know what it is, we advise you to find out more, because we’re sure your partner will be wildly delighted.

Play with Your Blindfolded Partner

You can not only tie a partner but also try to blindfold them. You can come up with a lot of interesting things blindfolded. Try out hot and cold. While your partner is blindfolded, take the ice into your mouth or hand and slide it over their naked body. It’s going to be quite unexpected.
Then you can melt a bar of chocolate, take it in your mouth and give a blowjob to your beloved. The main rule: the chocolate should not be too hot otherwise you may hurt the partner.

Light Flogging

All to the same topic of light BDSM, flog your partner. Let it be light or aggressive, it’s only up to you and your partner. The first thing you should know about flogging is that it may cause positive emotions and instant arousal by some people, while others may not like it at all. Therefore, knowing which part your partner belongs to, there is a chance to arrange unforgettable sex.

Fight with a Partner

Arrange a fight. Yes, it may sound very strange in the context of this article, but believe us, it is not that strange. Think of it as a symbiosis of a comic fight and flirting. There is something sexciting about trying to keep a man under you, pushing your body over him, clutching him with your legs and desperately trying to subdue him.
Tie a little fight with a man in bed. Start with tickling, he will try to stop you, but you shouldn’t give up. This is a great reason to start light fighting. Kiss your man and keep turning him on. Move the fight to another place, to the kitchen or shower for example.
If the previous options are very unusual for you, then read further about the more familiar, but no less interesting options.

Relax Evening

Arrange an evening of relaxation and massage, possibly erotic. Fast and boring sex is not interesting. Stock up on wine, massage oil, candles, and good music. Start with a light foot massage, massage gently and lovingly. Then start to rise higher and higher.
A great option for a girl is to massage a man with her breasts. Eroticly put the massage oil on your breasts, in the light of candles, it looks magical. Move easily and confidently, oil your partner completely. The main condition here is to do it with your breast. After that, proceed to erotic massage. Massage him everywhere, but don’t start right away with the genitals. Tease your partner a bit, start from the top and smoothly go down below, enjoy the process together. After that go to the genitals, it is best to use a lubricant. Then any fantasies and desires are in your hands.

Have You Heard About 69 Pose?

Try new poses in sex. We are sure that everyone knows the pose 69, and many like it. Has anyone heard of such a pose as 68? So, yes, there is a pose called 68. How does it look like? Everything is very simple! One of the partners lies on his back and bends his knees, puts his feet on the floor. The second partner lies on top, with their back placed on the lover, in exactly the same position, only with the genitals to face the partner.
This posture was invented for pleasure, as was sex in general. It is also convenient for making rimming which was mentioned above. True to be told, this pose is not suitable for everyone, but only for those lovers who get real satisfaction while giving pleasure to their partner.

Sex in a Public Place

Go to the restaurant for dinner and end it with hot sex … in the restroom of the restaurant. For such an idea, you should probably know a place where it will be comfortable for you and your partner. The restroom should be clean and spacious. Do not forget the fact that you are most likely not to be alone in the restaurant, so make sure that it is a restaurant with more than one toilet.
Drink a glass of wine and leave for a short while in the restroom, give a blowjob or have hot sex. Such things are remembered for a long time.

Sex Travel

Have sex on the hood of your car while driving to another city for the weekend. You just go to have a rest, stop in a beautiful place, for example, with a view of the lake or a wheat field, and just do it. Particularly acute is the fact that you can be seen by people passing by, but on the other hand, who cares. The main thing is your pleasure, and it will be granted.

Video and More

Record homemade sex videos or take photos of your sex. At first glance, the idea seems to be wasted, but believe us, it’s worth it. This is quite simple to do, any smartphone with a camera, tablet or even just a webcam will be ok. Just in case, ask your partner how he relates to such an idea, and if everyone is ready then do it immediately. And the most important thing, do not be afraid to seem funny and awkward in the video. Everyone understands that this is more for fun and interesting experience than for anything else.

In continuation of the idea of ​filmed ​sex, you can try sex on a web camera when viewers will watch you. You do not know these people, they do not know you, no constraint and responsibilities, just hot sex to the envy of those who watch. It is definitely very intriguing and sexciting. A nice bonus is when observing couples donate money on your card for such filmed naughtiness.

This is what our list of ideas looks like, but the main thing is what exactly is inside of you. Fantasize, develop, be open to a new experience, because there are so many astonishing things around, learn to enjoy to the maximum, always and everywhere. And remember, sex is a pleasure.

How to Start a Conversation on a Dating App?

We all have had any kind of a dating app on our smartphones at some stage. Was it to overcome loneliness, to heal the broken heart, to find a life-time partner, or simply to have a fling? Whatever your motive is, you have stepped into a dating app world and you need to take it by storm. Though most deem it is a conversational skill that pushes forward your dating experience, it is your personal profile and representation that strike first. So, hold the horses and give due importance to building your profile description and posting a remarkable picture.

Boost Your Profile First

The more exquisite and unique your bio is, the more likely it will stand out. And trust us, the number of users of online dating apps is skyrocketing, forcing many go bonkers to be noticeable. But no extremes, you don’t need to be liked by everyone. Your goal is to find a like-minded person and don’t let them overlook you. Think about your profile pic because it speaks volumes. Just like in a real life, appearance is the first thing others notice.

No one will know how witty, smart and kind you are if they are pushed by the weird and creepy picture, unless you are looking for a weirdo. Post a personal photo from a trip, visiting music festival, or skydiving. Whatever is on the background that shows your hobbies and interests, it will be a nice addition to your charming face. On top of that, this is how users can strike a conversation and it is the first clue – give others something to ask about and cling to.

Another easy way to break the ice is to give hints in profile description. Introduce yourself to potential matches by saying what you do in life, your favorite activities and movies. Whatever is important for you helps in this matter and makes it easier to approach you and vice versa. Try to be concise and not too wordy – keep some mystery so your potential partner will be intrigued to learn more about you in private chats.

Once you have covered the basics and happily set up your profile you get to the core – online communication. Its vice and virtue is the variety and accessibility of people on the platform. On the surface, it seems that approaching a person online is much easier since no one can hear your trembling voice and see you being nervous.

What’s even better is that you have time to think of a witty line. But in fact, such diversity of users makes it harder to be unique and eye-catching. People lose patience trying to learn one another and prefer to swipe further in the quest for a better match. They say the grass is always greener on the other side, and here lies the biggest pitfall. But no worries, as always, there is a psychology behind human relationships and specific rules to help in better communicating and becoming a greater conversationalist.

How Do U Start a Conversation with a Guy?

A handsome fellow has been on your radar and you are patiently waiting for him to text you? Don’t wait but rather act. Though many say the girl shouldn’t be the first who starts a dialogue, it is a big mistake to let someone decide for you. If you feel like he can be the right person, introduce yourself and captivate him from the word go. Show him what he’s been missing playfully and carelessly. Get him hooked but don’t show you are too interested.

Here are a few opening lines for you to strike a conversation with a guy on a dating app.

Get Clues from His Profile

  • What do you like about your job?
  • I’ve noticed you are into tech? What do you think of Tesla Cybertruck?
  • It seems like you are into snowboarding. Where are the best slopes in Aspen or somewhere in Europe?

Appeal to Movies and Music

  • What do you think of Game of Thrones finale?
  • What is your Netflix favorite?
  • What are the songs you are listening to in the gym?
  • Are you into rap music? Pick one: Drake, Kanye or Eminem.
  • “How you doin’” (A safe opener from Friends).
  • “Ooh nana what’s your name?” (Reference to Rihanna and Drake’s banger).

Location-based Apps? Discuss Your City!

  • What is your favorite TGIF bar?
  • Did you grow up here?
  • What is your favorite venue to meet with friends?
  • Where do you go when you are pensive?

Compliment Him

  • You are very fit. You must be very disciplined to maintain such a great physique!
  • I like your style and that sneakers are mental.
  • Your ocean blue eyes make me wanna drown.
  • You activities list would impress Elon Musk. How do you juggle it all? I need advice from an expert.

How Can I Start a Conversation with a Girl?

Pop Culture

  • Mrs. Robinson, you are trying to seduce me? Aren’t you? (Reference to the Graduate)
  • What was the last concert you have attended?
  • Are you looking forward to watching Super Bowl? Have you gone to sports games lately?

Make Her Feel Beautiful

  • Your style is impeccable. Have you graduated from a fashion school?
  • You look so cheerful you have brightened up my day.
  • You light up any room you walk into.
  • Can’t take my eyes off you. (Both a reference to a song and a witty compliment).

Knock-out Joke

  • Have you watched Titanic? Everyone on board has been nominated for the Ice Bucket challenge.

The jokes and memes will make her smile, and ultimately, melt her heart. Sense of humor is the greatest matchmaker of all times.

What Is the Best Time to Text a Girl?

There is no such a thing as when it is best to message a girl until you know her lifestyle. Be it a cheerful message in the morning, quick line during the day or an assertive message at night, it is a shot in the dark if you have never talked to that lady. Is she a student, an office person or, maybe, she works in shifts? Try to start a conversation and figure out her schedule or even directly ask her when it is convenient for her to communicate. It will show your suave personality cares about her and girls like it. It is a win-win situation since you don’t have to worry if she is ignoring you or simply busy and you will show how much of a gentleman you are.

However, what is important is to reply in a timely fashion. Some researches show that if a guy doesn’t text a girl within 6 hours, the likelihood that she will ever reply drops by 5%.

What Is the Best Time to Text a Guy?

Just like with girls, the best time to message a guy depends merely on his schedule. But surveys say that response rate drops by 25% if you don’t text a guy within 6 hours. So, ladies, if you are really into a guy don’t let him wait for too long, otherwise he loses his patience before madly falling in love with you.

How Do I Keep a Girl Interested While Texting?

Once your catchy opening line got the girl’s attention, it is time to get her talking. Ardent discussions and engagement are not a coincidence but rather a craft. And everyone can master it. Try to act genuinely and don’t try too hard because she can feel it. Try to start a small talk by discussing her interests, ask about her views on specific topics, appeal to her feelings. Make the conversation flow naturally and don’t use pre-planned phrases, follow her lines and respond accordingly. You can build a bond between you two by sharing experiences.

It is helpful to use the right kind of questions. It means avoiding yes/no questions and questions with a one-word answer. For instance, “do you like **** bar in the downtown?” This question will get her just answer “yes, I do\ no, I don’t,” which is not what you are looking for. It is better to ask her about her favorite bar, so she can name it, explain why it is so special to her and give you more hints to ask further.

Ladies like confident men who are not afraid to take risks. So, become the one. You can use pickup lines channeling a romantic or flirtatious vibe. But avoid inappropriate message in a conversation. We all like to be a little sassy, but test the boundaries first by taking baby steps.

Don’t suggest and use question marks because hesitance will make her bored. So, instead of saying “would you like to come to a stand-up event my friend is organizing?” say “my friend is organizing a stand-up event, it will be fun. You should come!” One and the same idea can be communicated differently. Powerful language makes you take the wheel and be a great conversationalist on a dating app. While conversations are the biggest way to captivate her online, words and eloquence are the tools to build a chemistry.

Getting to know her better before plunging in, will get a girl more confident with you. In turn, you can evaluate if she is worth and you can potentially get along.

What Can I Text a Guy to Make Him Smile?

Guys like assertive and cheeky messages from girls. So, tease him a little. Show your playful side yet don’t compromise your standards. He should know that you are fun but not the one to be fooled.

Most guys like to be the leaders and opinion-makers so make him an expert and ask about something you don’t know. Ask him about his job making him talk on a subject he is a pro at, or ask for a piece of advice. Playing with his masculinity and building his ego will make him feel powerful like a superman. Being naive and vulnerable will man him up and enjoy your company. Though men like strong and independent ladies, they still like to safeguard and protect them either physically or emotionally. So, give him a chance to be helpful and supportive.

Show him you are attracted by saying you’ve been thinking about him or you’ve had him in your dreams. Everyone likes to be sexually desired and that inevitably will make him smile once your sassy text pops up on his screen.

How to Communicate on a Dating App – Best Tips for Everyone

  • Avoid cliches and “entertain-me” texts
  • Project positive energy
  • Be open-minded
  • Don’t use “yes\no” questions
  • Build a safe space
  • Listen and reciprocate
  • Don’t stick to pre-planned lines
  • Find the common ground
  • Avoid controversial topics
  • Play two truths and a lie; what if; name game; kiss, marry, kill
  • Be a confident conversationalist
  • Wink 😉

Thanks to the time and place we live in, so you can decide on how to approach a person. You can mix and match all of the conversational starters and tips regardless of gender. A girl doesn’t have to appeal to man’s masculinity to boost his ego and get his attention. Likewise, a guy can skip the part where he praises a girl’s tenderness and gentle traits.

You can be strong, ambitious, masculine or feminine no matter what your gender identity is. As long as you are genuine and authentic you will attract that special someone who would appreciate you the way you are. Make an unusual compliment, warm up the conversation, build attraction and a date will be guaranteed.

Best New Craigslist Personals Alternatives in 2020

Craigslist Rollercoaster Ride

Announcements have made a great evolution over the years. They’ve gone from big hand-written posters stuck to the wall to several short lines published in a morning newspaper. Spreading of the global web made its amendments in the 90s when the first website with ad from real people appeared.
Craigslist service (began in 1995, founder Craig Newmark) gained wide popularity not only among the USA citizens. According to official information, more than 700 cities had their Craigslist versions in 2012, among them were Los Angeles, New York, Dallas, Boston, and Washington DC.
Among a long list of categories available for the users, there was also Personals section, which had become (according to some researches) a very popular web destination for those adults looking for dates, casual encounters, and sex. This part of the site was especially preferable by the LGBT community, because it was straightforward, free, open, and the most important thing, it helped to keep a particular level of anonymity.
However, after lots of complaining and blaming, in March 2018 the section of Craigslist Personals was blocked in the US due to the SESTA (Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act). Nowadays, those seeking a partner via the Internet have to find a trustworthy platform as their very first step. Our today’s article was made to ease this task.

Best Today’s Online Dating Services

Closing of Craigslist Personals made people surprisingly worried. The “Craigslist Personals replacement” got into the monthly top of Google searches, while on Quora over 1.5mln users visited the thread with similar discussion. Recently, the new site with a self-explanatory name “personals like craigslist” appeared on the web.

The higher is the demand, the bigger is the number of supplies. The Internet seems to be limitless. These days you can find anything you want and even more online. There are social networks that will offer you friends who share your interests. And there are also dating apps where you can find a one-night stand.

Having come to the scene just at the right moment in March 2018, Doublelist became one of the most popular replacements among those who admired CL Personals. The access is absolutely free, and the interface is user-friendly. The platform offers ads from gay and straight people, for a one-night stand and long-term relationships. There is, of course, the function of posting your own ad as well. The choice is yours!

As for the question of security, Doublelist keeps a wary eye on its users. You won’t be able to post your ad if you’re younger than 18. There is also a list of strict warnings, violating which a user can be banned: no racial discrimination (or any other kind of harassment) is allowed; fees for sexual activity and prostitution are forbidden; stalking, providing false information, spamming can also be reasons of blocking an account.

Doublelist does get some complaints from time to time. The administration of the resource takes all measures to ensure that offenders are blocked. Also, some restrictions connected with the geographical position of new members can be applied.

The site that has been on the market since 2001, became widely famous after CL Personals closing. ClassifiedAds previously hosted the sections similar to Craigslist: real estate, pets, cars, and jobs, etc. Now they also provide their users with the Personals part which has lots of categories (casual encounters, missed connections, man seeking woman, woman seeking man, man seeking man, woman seeking woman), so everyone can find what he/she came here for. You will be shocked by the number of people who do share your interests.

ClassifiedAds website is not a newbie, so you may be sure, that it won’t disappear tomorrow. Nowadays it is one of the most viewed sites around the USA (there are more than 3 million unique visitors a month). It means, that thousands of new ads are posted daily. How can you not be lucky to find what you are looking for?

In compare to Doublelist described above, ClassifiedAds gained more trust and positive feedbacks from users. Most of its visitors rated this site with a five-star mark. The interface of the resource is mobile-friendly, so you shouldn’t worry about any issues while opening it from your pocket device.

The beginnings of Oodle are the same as CL: a dashboard with different categories of ads posted in real-time. The section of Personals entered the picture after a while. Started back in 2004, Oodle still takes top positions in the list of ads sites from California.
This website is, perhaps, the most successful alternative variant of Craigslist. And it’s all because of visuality. No, the structure of the site is pretty casual, so the newcomers won’t be confused about the purpose of the resource. The main thing about this webpage is the possibility to look through the ads even without being signed up. Sounds great, doesn’t it?

The filters of Oodle will make your search accurate and easy. While scrolling the site and looking for your perfect match, you may sort the ads according to your own preferences in religion, race, kids, drinks, and zodiac.

One more interesting advantage of Oodle: it searches through several web resources at one moment in time, to give you the list of the most suitable variants in your local. According to the USA users’ feedbacks on Facebook, Oodle is one of the most trustful resources to look for relationships of different kinds.

If you think that we’ve made a mistake while typing “Twitter”, well, you’re almost right. Switter is a mobile-friendly network with an interface that seems very familiar to those using Twitter. It is operated by sex workers, so you can be sure that you will get what you’re looking for.

Here you’ll have the access to thousands of “toots” (the same as “tweets”), which will appear on your feed in real-time mode. Also, the site provides the opportunity to use hashtags function, which will make your search through the resource comfortable and easy.

The platform offers its users endless fun no matter if they are men, women, straight or gay. Everyone will find at Switter the entertainment for themselves, whether it’s about serious relationships or a one-night stand, sex service or escort.

There is an unpopular opinion that Switter has limited perspectives as a site. Well, we think that 1.5 million visitors every month won’t agree with that statement. The site has been running since March 2018, and its popularity as Craigslist alternative only grows with each next day.

This site is for all those missing the old but gold Craigslist design. Some users say that Bedpage is the exact copy of CL, so you won’t get lost here. The website itself is the offspring of the previously well-known but now-defunct Backpage.

The resource requires obligatory registration for all new members, and you must be prepared that this process is going to be burdensome. However, this measure makes the site almost 100% protected from all the bots and fake users. So, posting your ad on Bedpage you may be confident and calm.

For those, who like VIP treatment, Bedpage offers a special premium option. This one costs $15 and it will give your ads priority not only in your city but also in other locations. The Personals section of the Bedpage suggests a wide compilation of subcategories like casual dating, straight, gays, lesbians, and even phone and cybersex.

The bad news is, there are some locations on Bedpage that are still empty. Perhaps, that happened because of the long registration process. Still, those brave who traveled this path till the end will be rewarded with all the perks of the real ads.

Final Thoughts

Looking for any kind of relationship on the Internet is always risky. There is no resource nowadays that will guarantee you 100% of anonymity and the same rate of success. Craigslist was one of the first and still stays one of the best in the sphere of personals on the market.
However, time flies and great Craigslist alternatives appear almost every day. Modern adult users prefer mobile dating apps, which are fast, eye-catching and can be used on the go. Talking about preferences, it’s your call!

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some Frequently Asked Questions about Craigslist Personals Alternatives

Does Craigslist have Personals anymore?

No, it doesn’t. This section was blocked in 2018 due to the FOSTA bill.

✅ How can I date online safely?

You should use trustworthy websites, like one of those described above. You may check the site you are going to register on via, for example. Also, check the users’ feedbacks (this is possible on official pages of resources in social networks).

✅ What is the most successful dating site?

According to the last surveys, nowadays, one of the most successful sites that offer nothing else but dating services is Match. However, if you are not ready to spend your money on creating an account, this resource is not for you. Among Craigslist alternatives, the most successful is Doublelist.

✅ Which dating site is completely free?

All the resources, described in this article are free. Besides, there are a plethora of mobile apps to search for a suitable date which are also free. One of them is which offers a safe chat as well as straightforward design and lots of options to customize your choice.

✅ Do dating sites really work?

It depends on your expectations and demands. There are a lot of stories when people were looking for a hookup and found the love of their life. If you are a risky person, dating sites will definitely be a great adventure for you.

Best Craigslist Alternatives for Adult Personals in 2020

Craigslist classified advertisements website terminated its Personals section in 2018 due to the passing of the Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act legislation in the US. Such measures were taken to prevent human trafficking, prostitution, and sex crimes.

Measures taken for a good cause, yet many have lost their favourite site for interacting with people and finding a date or a sex partner. The whole era has been gone along with the Craigslist Personals ads. However, it didn’t stop people from their feelings and desires making them turn to other places to satisfy their needs. And behind closed doors there is a whole gamut of unique penchants and sexual fantasies, which one is willing to liberate.

So, embrace your nature with like-minded people and we will show you the ways.

What Is Sexual Casual Encounters?

Are you looking for a one night stand in Los Angeles tonight? What are you googling then? Casual encounters? No strings attached? NSA? DTF? If you checked all of them, your sex life is definitely not boring. So, what all of the above mean and how to define the casual encounters? It all refers to a non-formal sexual relationship between two or more people that involves no commitment or long-term partnership. No romantic garden-variety dates, just sex. No commitments. No obligations. Just fun.

Craigslist, dating apps, and social media have caused a massive surge in casual encounters due to their startling ease. Mediocre bars, cheesy los angeles nightclubs, and friends’ houses – all of it demands unnecessary efforts that could be skipped. And that was the reason the Craigslist casual encounters were so common and popular. The website created a comfortable space for the user to meet a one night stand partner or a few yet from the comfort of their home. By delivering sex with ease and comfort, Craigslist and its replacements have taken the world by storm.

Where Can You Find Casual Encounters Now?

While some are lamenting the Craigslist personals shutdown, others are already looking for alternatives to replace their beloved website’s section. And since nothing is irreplaceable, the equivalents are plentiful. Especially, entering a new decade, 2020 promises even more websites of better quality, sophisticated match-making algorithms, and bullet-proof privacy tools. New technologies pave their way for better user experience, making casual encounters effortless and safe like never before. Among the spots to find NSA encounters online are websites and applications. Despite the great strides made in online dating apps, the scammers are everywhere. They can be looking to steal the user’s personal info, money or even endanger their life. The reasons can be numerous. However, it is upon the person to register only with the trustworthy platform, and in turn, it is the platform’s responsibility to take all the measures to provide safe and secure environment for all of its users.

Here is a list of websites and apps that make up for the craigslist personals.

Best Dating Apps for Casual Encounters

Though many resorted to Craigslist personals ads and have regularly used the platform, its closure became a blessing in disguise, making a way for new and budding platforms. Online applications are springing extensively every day with better interface, convenient user-experience and tailor-made methods of matching individuals. They have taken into account the users peculiar preferences and demands narrowing down the search.

Among the best latest dating apps for casual encounters are the following:


Zin is one of the best Craigslist alternatives on the market. Though it is a new entrant into the field, it has everything to fulfill your wishes. Straightforward communication with real people (no fake accounts) without compromising your privacy, isn’t what you are looking for? Zin brands itself as “casual encounters dating app” leaving no room for interpretation. It connects sex-positive people who are up for Netflix and chill.

No need to link up your Zin account to any social network like Facebook or Instagram or worry about you sensitive data leakage since Zin’s servers don’t store any bit of it. There are also secret chats for private communication along with the posts available for everyone which you can reply to. And you yourself can post anything you want and wait for someone to reach out to you. The flirting app supports multiple gender choice and relationship categories. Thus, any LGBTQIA+ person will be comfortable here.


The Time magazine listed it among top ten dating apps in 2007 operating worldwide. It celebrates diversity and inclusivity with multiple gender categories (22!) and orientations (13!). They were the first dating app that offered such multiple choice options. So, if until now you couldn’t find you gender on any other app, OkCupid is likely to fill the void.

As of today, their strong suit is the questionnaire which pops questions on multiple topics from feminism to climate change and even more, trying to link people based more on interests rather than physical appearance. So, if you are looking for a smart cookie in your bed, here is the first choice. Among the other benefits are instant chats, free and premium accounts. It supports same sex connections and polygamous ones.


Alright, there is probably not a soul who hasn’t heard of Tinder. It is the most known and internationally recognized online dating service. It boasts over 50 million registered users and over 1 billion swipes a day. It also introduced More Genders feature supporting inclusivity. Unlike OkCupid, Tinder centeres more on appearance when match-making.

Tinder’s perks are a game-style dating process, simple registration either through social networks or phone number, and responsive customer support. Tinder cares about user’s safety and features dating tips, and particularly, sexual health and consent section. It is location based so you can find a partner within a specified distance.


Los Angeles is among the top 5 cities where Pure is actively used. And that is no surprise. The most distinguished feature of Pure is anonymity and directness. Isn’t it what the busiest and crowded cities are looking for?

The match-making is easy. Once the match has been established, you have only one hour to make the sparks fly. Otherwise, the chat window expires and you have to say goodbye to that person for good. So, you have a very limited time to build a mutual interest and rush into adventure afterwards. On top of that, it represents a bullet-proof security making sure your dialogues are not stored and nothing can leak to scammers. So, if you are DTF it is really convenient, though some users claim there is a shortage of real pictures in user profiles.

Best Dating Sites for Casual Encounters

Not keen on installing any app on your smartphone? Browse for the websites on your personal computer or smartphone likewise. Adult Personals are still popular with people of all ages and gender because we don’t like to say goodbye to old friends, right? That is the reason many still seek nsa partners on free local ad posting sites like Craigslist Personals.

Adult FriendFinder

Adult FriendFinder or AFF is not exactly the Craigslist in look but it definitely in functions. It is a social network for adults and a dating service at the same time. On the welcome page you will see that it aims at connecting people for hookups, swinger experience and basically any sex practices. Here you follow the beaten track by browsing sex personals and click to reply. You have private chat rooms at your disposal hiding your private messaging from prying eyes. Icing on the cake is cybersex function which caters to the laziest. You also pick the closest city so you can meet with your partner in no time.

Adult Search

This one is a Craigslist sibling indeed. The interface and services are alike and you can easily find a partner for sex in the same manner as you would do on Craigslist site. Just post a free personal ad. It covers all the areas in the US easily connecting men, women, etc. for a one time thing.


This one is also a free classified website to post personal ads. It is simple in use and design, yet striking with a tiresome signing up procedure. It requires plenty of details for verification aiming to tackle fake users, which is both its strong and weak points. Nobody wants to waste precious time on registering just as nobody wants to bump into a fake account and waste time as well. So, be patient and you will be rewarded. It has a separate Meet&Fuck section…so you know what to do.

Double List is a decent replacement of Craigslist personals. It is free and has an up-to-date design, much more trendy than its predecessor. Here, you get to select a city, and relationship variations such as couples for couples, straight for gay, women for women, dating miscellaneous, and even platonic. Users get to post their personal ads as well specify what they are looking for exactly.

Oodle personals are the best among classified websites. Why? It breaks the mold of traditional advertising websites and includes profile pictures. You can scroll through the personal ads and reply based on appearance rather than caption. You can also filter who you are looking for based on gender, the US city and relationship category. Casual encounters is among the options. So, if you are not ready to install any new-fangled app, visit this website. It combines the best of both worlds.


If you are into a kink world, and your perfect casual encounter should crave for something more than vanilla sex, opt for the Fetlife website. It is a social network for people with peculiar fetishes and sex preferences. Here, you get to meet like-minded people and join the events organized in your area. It looks nothing like Craigslist personals but it is definitely worth a visit for those who think out of the box.

All of the above apps and websites are unique and cater to the needs of all genders and sex preferences. Though they look and operate differently, they all share a common thread- to connect people for a casual sex in LA or elsewhere.

Successful Gay Friends-with-Benefits Relationship

There is an interesting point of view that sex never spoils the friendship. Is that really so? What kind of special connection is friendship with benefits, and exactly what benefits does it bring? How to find a gay friend and start an FWB relationship? Everything and even more in our today’s article!

What Is Gay Friends with Benefits?

If you have watched the famous film “Friends with Benefits” with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, you should probably know what FWB stands for. Two people enjoy each other’s company, have a time of their lives together, yet they don’t define themselves as a couple. In some way, this is a kind of untraditional connection without any romantic, love subtext where both sides are free and independent.
So, FWB, in a nutshell, is having all the advantages of relations (regular sex, experiments) plus friendship (means gossips, walks, etc.) and minus boring hassle routine (house chores, bills). The only problem is to be ready for that kind of hookup.

How to Start Friends with Benefits Relationship?

When you meet the person for the first time, you will never think: “I love him/her so much!” You will probably like their outfit or body, notice hot glance or seductive smile. The first impression is not about deep attraction or feelings, it’s all about hormones and your body’s response.
When you’re getting to know the person, discovering all their cool and ugly sides, your body stops sending you signals, and sexual tension gets lower and lower. This is the reason why so many couples lose their passion and break up. A friend is the one who you’d never imagine going out with. But the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. Oscar Wilde said: “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it”.
The best way to start FWB relations is to be honest. If you are not going to introduce this person to your parents as your “soulmate”, if you are not ready to say “bye” to all your other lovers (potential or not), then there is only one right decision – tell the truth. Acting that way, you protect yourself from any kind of blaming in future.
Of course, there is no guarantee, that you will hear the positive answer. Not everybody is ready for no-string attached relations, you need to keep that in mind. However, nothing stake, nothing draw.
Before starting FWB connection, it’s also quite important to discuss the meanings of “friend” and “benefit” for both partners. It’s rather possible, that you are out of sync. This is normal, but it’s something you won’t like to find out while relaxing after great sex.

Basic Rules How to Provide Gay Friends with Benefits

Is there actually any difference between heterosexual and gay FWB? The answer is definitely no. The rules are the same, so just check the following list of advice to find out if this kind of relationship really suits you.

  • Don’t take this too seriously. And also don’t expect your partner to take your relationships to heart. First of all, you are friends. This means no romantic dates, no family dinners with grandparents and uncle Tom, no visiting Ikea to choose the furniture for your shared apartment.
  • You both are in the same boat. Make sure that you have discussed all the details of your FWB relationship right before you start them. Remember that your partner isn’t a decoder, so you need to use words and not some kind of non-verbal signs to explain your point. Why is this important? In case your partner starts being romantically attracted to you, you will always have these last boundaries: we have agreed, so I owe you nothing. This may help avoid misunderstandings and being hurt.
  • FWB is ongoing. You should never think of this as long-term relationships that will then grow into something more. FWB has a limit. This is the kind of interaction that needs to be appreciated here and now. Don’t make plans, have fun, enjoy the moment!
  • This is not about monogamy. Each of the partners in an FWB relationship should remember, that he/she is not the only one. Both of you are free to have as many other partners as you want. And it’s also not about polyamory when each of the partners should know the exact number of “others”. In general, you are free, and so is your friend.
  • Be honest about your sexual life. All FWB thing is about friendship after all. And friends are the people who you can trust the most. It must be an awful moment to find out about any kind of illness that you didn’t have before the relations. Transparent talks should be the “must-have” in all the relations. But when you have a no-string attached arrangement, honesty is your ticket to success.

One more important thing: FWB relationship often ends just as unexpected as it all started, with no reason, no explanation and (an absolutely ideal variant) no pain. However, in such a partnership there is also no space for jealousy, complains or claims, so potentially you won’t be too much stressed after a break-up.

gay friends

Tips for the First Date

The idea of FWB relations may help you decrease stress while the first date. It’s not kind of interview and you shouldn’t expect to get a mark in the form of a call or a message the next day.
There are a lot of ideas about dos and don’ts for the first date all around the internet. Guess what? Almost all of them work the same when it comes to FWB.

  • Don’t mention previous relationships. You are not here to cry on a shoulder, you are here to have fun! Forget about what hurt you before and concentrate on the astonishing experience that is right in front of you.
  • Act natural. Don’t force yourself to do something that you usually avoid. You’ll definitely regret that. Just relax and be yourself.
  • Touch barrier. Even when both of you know what is going to happen next, it’s better to keep some personal boudaries at first. Touch your partner’s hand before you hug him/her, that will be like asking permission.
  • Keep your phone away. No need to explain how rude it could be when your partner spends your whole date at the local texting someone else. Focus on each other and not your gadgets.

Don’t forget to be polite and respectful. This guy may have known you the whole life while being your best friend, but that doesn’t mean that you have a right to offend him. However, do not dramatize, because you might feel awkward.


In the society that is still not very tolerant of all the queer men, having friendship with benefits may be a rational act. You owe each other no love and no romantic, however, you still have great sex and don’t feel guilty or confused telling your colleagues “We are just friends”.
Friends with benefits relations set you free from any kind of doubts like “what if”. You are able to discover your own sexuality without being disturbed by odd thoughts “what should we eat for dinner?” or “did he put my black socks into the laundry?” So, don’t lose your chance to make some good friends!

How to Find a Kinky Partner?

Have you ever dreamt in your sexual fantasies of spanking, role-playing or blindfolding? Well, you and many of us are kinky to some extent. Sex life can go far beyond a simple intercourse and vanilla sex. Kinky people embrace their fetishes and break the mold by experimenting with their intimate desires. Kinky lifestyle is no longer deemed as something extraordinary in big cities and anyone can find a partner for such sexual activities. However, it is not as easy as it seems. As someone’s kink might be a foot fetish, and another person’s is a group sex, it is necessary to find a kinky partner who would share the same interests as you. Looking for a compatible and like-minded person can be a challenge but only for those new to the business.

Here is the guide on what to start with when looking for a perfect kinkster match

Though it might sound boring, but you have to pick the category of kink you fall under. Yes, penchant for latex and ropes is not the only fetish. Think about your sexual fetishes, what you are looking for, and ultimately what you can offer.

Among the common kinks are:

  • Role-playing and fantasy
  • Threesome, group sex, swinging
  • Voyeurism
  • Masochism
  • Psychological play, etc.

The list of sexual kinks limits only to your fantasy and safety concerns. So, bring to the table whatever makes you arouse and share your “kink menu” with a potential partner and exchange you interests. If you are both comfortable with unique needs and consent to the sexual activities, then you are good to go. Remember, it is essential to discuss all the do’s and don’ts, set boundaries and reach a mutual understanding before rushing into it headfirst. So, all the parties will get the most satisfying experience.

App to Find Kinky People

As the dating apps are springing right and left, you will be spoilt for choice. However, asking your Tinder match to go beyond missionary and engage into something more edgy might be tricky. While some would frown upon that, others would insecurely refuse to such sexual practices. That’s the reason you need to narrow down the search and focus on Kink specific websites or Kinky sex finder. Here comes the Kinky tinder counterpart, Zin. Our app is specifically designed for casual dating with no strings attached. Zin is a community for free-spirited and open-minded users where anyone can find a partner or partners to live out their most intimate fantasies. Here you will be able to specify your interests in your online dating profile. You can state your sexual preferences (male, female, male+female, male+male, etc.), describe your personality and expectations. This way you will spare yourself the douchebags and tedious conversations, making only the ones who meet your criteria reciprocate.

On top of kink-specific navigation tools, the app prides itself on high-end security and privacy. In the wake of digital data being a valuable asset, no one wants his\her personal chats leak into the world, especially when it comes to sex. We incorporate high-end encryption system and don’t store your information on our servers. On top of that, there is no need to connect your Facebook or Instagram account to Zin when registering.

Here at Zin, your sexual curiosities are safe from prying eyes and you are the one who calls the shots.

Where to Meet Kinky People

Though online is the easiest way to enter the kink world, it is always a good idea to explore offline for its multiple benefits. The main advantage is that you will get an eye-to-eye conversation and evaluate your chemistry before building up to something more intimate. The pool of kinky people is smaller and not that obvious since no one puts a sign saying they are kinky. In a real world, to get a kinky partner one needs to know the ropes.

Here is the list of options to check to join a kink community:

  1. Fetlife
  2. Gay\Lesbian bars
  3. Munches
  4. Play parties
  5. BDSM workshops
  6. Hashtags and groups on social media

Fetlife is a social networking website that boasts over 8mln users and positions itself as Facebook for kinksters. Here you will be able to check events in your area, ask questions, join groups or even create your own. The user can indicate his\her own fetishes, post pictures and videos, chat with other members and befriend them. Indeed, like Facebook yet with a kink. This will keep you updated on kinky gatherings in your area, a munch, so you can join the community and establish useful contacts.

Munch is a BDSM gathering which is basically an ordinary social meeting in a public place. Kink-minded people come around to chat and socialize at a restaurant on a weekly or monthly basis. That is especially beneficial for newbies who enter the scene and look for information and acquaintances. At the event, you will also be able to learn about private play parties which are usually planned in advance for trusted people from the community.

Gay and lesbian bars are definitely more fun than traditional counterparts. And folks there are more open-minded. So, even if you don’t find anyone compatible there, someone can introduce you to the right person. So, be friendly and communicative and maybe your new acquaintance would introduce you to a friend with the same sex preferences as yours.

Finally, make use of social media. Facebook communities and posts, hashtags on Instagram and Twitter, and ultimately, Google search – they all have the information you are looking for. When a kinky sex finder has successfully played its role and you have found the one, try to go on a couple of dates with the potential partner. Act normal and don’t try to pull off something extraordinary- leave your kinks for the bedroom. On a date you can discuss the terms of your partnership and see how you get along.

As always, play it safe and learn about the venues you are heading. Notify your friends of your new kinky partner and send your location. Path to pleasure lies in trust and consent just like an ordinary love affair. Everyone looks for ultimate sex experience not the trouble.

How To Be Good At Sexting

sextingAh, sexting. That age-old tradition that started with the advent of the cell phone.

In the age of app dating, you would be hard-pressed to not find someone who hasn’t either sexted someone or been sexted by someone.

But what does it take to be a good sexter?

Here are some key tips to mastering the art and science of sexting. (Note: this article focuses mainly on how to sext early on in a dating or casual dating scenario.)

  1. Be authentic

In other words, be yourself. Don’t imitate others or text things that are not true to who you are and what you want. Any sexting should come from the present moment – what you really feel like saying (within reason and with consent and receptivity on the part of the recipient). Of course, you can always embellish for effect, but keep it within the bounds of your sexual “brand.” For example, don’t sext about bedroom acts that you have no intention of doing just to impress the recipient. And don’t lead anyone on by combining sexy talk with “lovey dovey” talk as if you were intending a LTR if you only intend to keep things casual. Be sincere and honest.

2. Follow the “yes, and” rule

In improv, there is a rule that helps the improv scene flow and progress: the “yes, and” rule. This rule basically means if someone says something, you respond with a “yes, and…” and then build or riff off that thought. For example, if I got a sexy text from someone and they said, “Tuesdays are for hooking up,” I could take their lead and say, “yes, and Wednesdays are for recovering from Tuesdays…wink wink.”

The point here is to not shut someone down with a “no” or a contradictory response, but to build off of their text with something new.

3. Compliment!

All sexting should include some sort of compliment of the recipient. It is a great way to break the ice, and further establish trust and intimacy with someone. This is especially true if you use more specific aspects of their appearance or sexy vibe. For example, you could compliment a womxn’s curves and talk about how they turn you on. Or, you could simply text “you are soooo sexy.”

Flattery will go far. Use the recipient’s first name and some nice sexy adjectives along with it. A good sext is to say “I can’t stop thinking about you. Your [insert body part] drives me wild.”

4. Test the waters, then build

Timing is everything, especially in dating, and even more so in sexting. A well-timed sexual zinger can make or break your hookup. So, it is important to first read your recipient’s messages carefully and get a feel for how receptive they may be to your sexual advances. Nothing worse than bringing out the big guns too soon. Of course, a lot depends on gender and sexual identity here. I don’t want to generalize too much, but if a gay man is texting another gay man, the sexting can probably get pretty hot and heavy early on, whereas with men texting women, some subtleties may be in order in the beginning.

In any event, you might want to first hint at something sexual before coming straight out and talking about sex acts. When you are having a “normal” conversation via text, and you are wanting to start sexting, sometimes it is hard to know when to “slip it in” (pun intended).

A good way to do that is to ask questions that are sexually leading. Usually, the best way is to find a segue in the conversation. For example, if you two are talking about nature, you could send a text indicating your interest in sex outdoors or asking if they have had “camping sex”.

Or, you could talk about how excited you are at meeting them (if you haven’t yet), or how excited you are that you matched or met.

If you test the waters and you either sense some receptivity or get a sext back in response, then game on! It is now time to build into a sexting crescendo! Up the ante by increasing the intensity of your texts. Be flirty and fun and not too “in your face.” (And don’t send an unsolicited dick pic!) Try bringing in some longer sexts about what you might want to do together with your recipient.

The sky is the limit here (but also consent is the limit). (Zin is great at protecting your privacy, so you can feel free to sext inside our messaging app and send sexy photos knowing they won’t be shared.) You may want to consider sending emojis and gifs to get your message across. A good ole peach or an egg plant is a standard sex emoji. Or you can use other common sexy emojis, like tongue out, taco, and water droplets.

  1. Use your imagination

Sexting is a great way to connect to someone. Your sexts should give them something hot to think about and also pique their interest. Sexting should also be fun and entertaining to both you and your recipient. So, try to use your imagination as much as possible. Consider texting sexual scenarios you have always wanted to try, or something new you haven’t done in the bedroom. This is a good way to see if you are a sexual match with the person you are texting.

A good basic template for this is, “I want you to [insert sex act] so bad right now.”


There you have it! Don’t be shy- send that sext!


The Importance of Privacy Protection In Messaging

Privacy Protection In MessagingPrivacy is an informational boundary that helps us have autonomy and individuality.

In other words, when we have privacy, we are free to be ourselves.

Have you ever had your privacy breached? It doesn’t feel good. A breach of your privacy affects your “willingness to be vulnerable” and even a perceived breach of privacy can forever alter your attitudes towards digital communication. Evidence suggest that “‘data breach fatigue’ does exist, and the fallout is harmful to both consumers and the breached organisations.”

Communication inside private chat apps or messaging apps has become the fastest growing area of social connection, which makes it all the more important that those communications remain private to avoid the emotional downside of a digital breach.

There are many reasons why privacy in chat settings is vital. For one thing, if you don’t have privacy, you will be more guarded in your speech. You have more freedom to express yourself if you feel like you can control who is reading your messages.

It makes sense: if you believe or fear that someone (including a government or corporation or hacker) can access your messages, you will be less likely to be open with your content.

And connections between people are important. Studies show that human connection is even more important than nutrition for health, and the lack of connection between people is associated with higher health risks.

So how do you ensure your social connection via messaging is private?

There are several things you should look for in private messaging:

  • Does the app offer encryption? Encrypted or “secure” messaging generally means end-to-end encryption for user-to-user text messaging. Essentially, encrypted messaging prevents anyone from eavesdropping on your text conversations.
  • Does the app store your data on their servers? If so, for how long? Private data that is stored can be hacked.
  • Has the app been hacked or breached before? There are apps specifically designed to spy on WhatsApp messages. Even Facebook messenger is vulnerable.
  • Does the app sell or share your information with advertisers?

Given that privacy is key, especially in today’s world with more and more messaging apps vulnerable to spying, it is important to choose a messaging app that puts your privacy first.

Zin came into being because of privacy concerns for the casual dating community. Privacy protection is the cornerstone of our mission. To protect the data of our users, we bring high security app functions to private chat. Zin offers:


-no data storing

-no drawing from social media

-timed destruction of private photos

-screenshot protection

Zin boasts best-in-class privacy features to keep your personal profile and your messages safe and secure for free. We take your privacy seriously. We use end-to-end encryption, and, unlike other apps, we never store messages on our servers once they are delivered to your device. Our chat protections include the option of hiding a phone number and protecting your sensitive media. When you download the app you will not be asked to link up to social media accounts, further protecting your anonymity.

In addition, Zin offers screenshot protection and self-destructing photos. For example, if a user wants to send a sensitive photo, they can turn on the self-destruct feature, which will allow the recipient to view the photo and then it will erase itself. Zin also blocks a recipient from taking screenshots with their phone. When you preview a photo to send, you can restrict the recipient from taking on-device screenshots.

Zin also provides an unsend feature. The app allows you to delete messages you already sent. When “Unsend” is tapped, the message is deleted from the chat dialogue for both sender and recipient.

Protecting the trust and privacy of our users is what Zin is founded on and committed to accomplishing. Download the app now and start your secret, private chatting for free!

What is Ethical Non-Monogamy and Should you try it?

Ethical Non-MonogamyEthical non-monogamy (or ENM) refers to the practice of non-monogamy in a, well, ethical manner. The title implies that you can be unethical in non-monogamy (which I find interesting because how many unethical monogamists do you know? Right, exactly.)

The term and practice has been explored in countless books and blogs, most notably Ethical Slut, More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, and Opening Up.  In recent years, it appears people have become more open to non-traditional relationships or have become more open about how free they are in their relationships.  ENM might be practiced by your neighbors, friends and family without you knowing it.

In this article I will break down ENM and its different parts and give some tips on how to practice it if you find yourself called to it. If you already have some experience with ENM then you might learn something new.

Consensual Non-Monogamy

ENM is sometimes referred to as CNM, which means “consensual non-monogamy.”  For the purposes of this article, I will focus on CNM and ENM synonymously because ethical non-monogamy requires consent at its core.

First, let’s back up and get a handle on what non-monogamy means. Generally speaking, non-monogamy means having relationships with more than one partner. According to Wikipedia, non-monogamy  is defined as “an umbrella term for every practice or philosophy of intimate relationship that does not strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange sex, love, and affection.”

Swinging, open relationships, polyamory, and even what is termed “monogamish” can all be part of what is considered non-monogamy.

Now that we have that general overview, let’s look at the “consensual” part of CNM: this means that all parties to the relationship consent to the arrangement, meaning “agree to” the arrangement and boundaries. The communication and consent are what make the relationship parameters “ethical.”

But keep in mind each arrangement or non-monogamous structure can be wildly different. For example, one couple could have a rule that they must each divulge all partners to each other, while another group might have the rule that sex or relationships outside the couple are generally not disclosed to the other partners.

In any event, the “consensual” part generally means the parameters are agreed upon at the outset of the arrangement and prior to venturing out.

The difference between polyamory and an open relationship

Even though polyamory and open relationships are both part of ENM or CNM, they are distinct forms of it.

Polyamory is in the realm of an “open relationship” but is different in that typically the relationships formed both in and outside the core relationship are not just sexual. Love or romance is involved. Polyamorous people are often committed to loving and spending time with multiple partners, not just having a sexual relationship with them.

On the other hand, open relationships tend to refer to a situation where one or more partners in a relationship want to be satisfied sexually outside the relationship (in addition to inside the relationship). For example, perhaps one partner desires more sex and the other partner is comfortable with the current state of their sexual relationship. Both parties could agree that the sexually exploratory partner can go out and have sex with other people. Or both could.

Can you “cheat” while in an ENM relationship?

The answer is: yes. Cheating can be defined as doing anything that you feel you cannot tell your partner. It is not about the sex, it is about the lying and breach of trust. For example, if you are in an open marriage or an open relationship, and your rule is to not start dating someone seriously, any actions to date someone must come with that intent otherwise the dating activity will be a breach of trust. CNM requires communication on steroids – you must communicate, communicate, communicate, whether you want to or not. And especially if you are feeling weird about telling your partner- it usually means it is something that is outside the trust of the relationship and should be disclosed and dealt with.

Should you try ENM?

If you have read this far in this blog post it is clear that you have an interest in ENM. If you if are considering an open relationship, an open marriage, polyamory or just have a new partner who is into non-monogamy, then you might want to carefully consider what you might be getting into.

At the least, you should read up on ENM (check out the books listed above) before entering into a non-monogamous relationship, as well as talk to people who have experience. These resources can help you prepare for the potential pain or jealousy that can come up and also know what to expect. You need to have enough information so that you are (a) sure that this is something you want and (b) are as prepared as you can be. These relationships tend to be complicated and require communication on steroids.

Sometimes you won’t know if you want this type of relationship until you try it. And also remember that it can depend on each person in the relationship. For example, you might feel like you could have an open relationship with one person, but another partner it is clear that you or they or both don’t feel it is right.

If you and your partner decide to open up your relationship, you can use dating apps to find a “third” or other partners. Tinder has been flooded with couples seeking a unicorn (usually a woman to join as a third partner). The trouble is that Tinder wasn’t designed for this type of search. Zin, on the other hand, is designed with couples in mind, allowing them to select what type of relationship they are looking for.

One way to determine if you might want to try ENM is to start to “dip your toes” in the ENM water by getting on a dating app like Zin and communicate with your partner as you look for posts. You can also create a post looking for potential couples (ie, if you are single looking to form a triad), or a post looking for singles (if you are a couple looking to form a triad or a third).

Talk with your partner and get feedback every step of the way. Also, remember to be respectful of the singles or couples you are talking to on the app. They have their specific needs and desires, too.

A successful relationship is built on trust. If you find that it is difficult to overcome jealousy or if you just don’t trust your partner, then it is probably not a great idea to jump into ENM. If, however, you have a solid foundation of trust and have great communication, then ENM might be for you.

Done right, opening up your relationship to ENM could be an adventure that is worth having!